These past couple of months, I feel like I can finally exhale. From not being able to for years. I can finally be ME after living life in denial. If honest with myself, I’ve been playing a character because I couldn’t accept the fact that I was gay. It hurt, feeling like an outcast when hanging out with my friends. I just wanted to feel normal so badly that I was willing to act like someone I’m not. Looking back, this wasn’t fair for me or my friends, but I was so self-conscious and didn’t want to be treated differently just because I was gay. The COVID-19 quarantine changed my life as it helped me find who I truly am underneath the shell I was playing. I was finally able to express myself without the constant fear of getting judged. As quarantine is kinda coming to an end I’m back in school, and I feel good about myself. I now dress how I want to dress, do my hair how I want to, and my confidence has skyrocketed. It feels good to be myself for once. Sometimes I catch myself trying to go back into that dark hole, but I realize I don’t have to, as the people around me love me for me. Sure I’ve had to cut some of my friends off as they wouldn’t respect me for me, but as of right now I haven’t felt better. If you’re going through a similar situation like me just remember to be you. Don’t follow the crowd, the people that stick out and follow their rhythm are always the ones who change the world. As my coming-out story is in the beginning stages I can’t wait to see where it takes me.
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