Dear Lacie,

There are many opinions regarding sexual orientation: are we born that way? Are we affected by our experiences? Is it some combination of the two? Our culture also has a profound impact on how we define what’s acceptable and what’s not. Believe it or not, until the early 1970s homosexuality was a psychiatric diagnosis, meaning that it was seen as a mental illness! It wasn’t until the mid 1980s that the diagnosis was removed completely.

Fortunately, our culture appears to finally be turning a corner with most people agreeing that couples should be free to marry regardless of their sexual orientation. Despite this, there are always challenges for anyone who is seen as different from the majority. Whether it’s race, religion, physical appearance, or sexual orientation, we live in a conforming world and folks that are seen as “Different” are often marginalized and experience prejudice and stereotypical thinking. It is important for anyone who is potentially marginalized in this way to know that they are okay, and those who treat them badly because of who they are, are coming from a place of fear and ignorance.

It sounds like you are an adolescent who is trying to better understand who you are, which is one of the most important tasks of adolescence. It is quite common for adolescents to experiment and try new things in an effort to better understand themselves. What’s important is to do it intelligently and safely. Consider worrying less about the labels that society places on us and continue to try to define who you are by following your heart.