Dear James,

Family members of those in the military have many unique challenges. For children of military members, there can be many unique stressors. As a result, for example, teens may become more irritable and rebellious during periods of deployment. In fact, the longer and more frequent the deployments, the greater the emotional challenges are for family members. Specifically, children can have more school-related challenges, conflicts with family members, peer issues, and emotional difficulties. The best way to cope with these challenges is to provide opportunities for family members to talk about their anxieties, fears, and possible resentments. Otherwise those feelings can build up and result in increased sadness, anxiety, and anger, which not only affects the child but impacts relationships with family members and friends.

Even when the family member returns from a long deployment, it can be challenging for everyone to return to normal family life. Luckily, there are many resources available to members of the military and their families. For example, there are Military Family Assistance Centers (MFACs) in the United States and Military Family Resource Centres (MFRCs) in Canada that provide counseling and other resources to veterans and their families. There are also organizations that help military families connect with other local mental health resources. While these and other resources are available, many in need do not take advantage of them because it is uncomfortable to talk about and difficult to ask for help.

If you or someone you know is a member of a military family and are struggling with the emotional challenges of having one or both parents away on deployment, seek out a trusted adult like a parent, school counselor, or teacher, to help locate supportive resources in your community. Being able to discuss challenging feelings in a safe, supportive environment can make all the difference.