Dear Mitchell,

It sounds like you moved recently, which can be very tough, especially in high school. Hopefully, as you adapt to your new surroundings, you will find that it gets easier to adjust and make new friends. You also mention your difficulties with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). While ADHD can certainly be a huge challenge, you don’t want to be defined by it. We all have strengths and weaknesses, including in the way that we learn. There are many learning difficulties, including ADHD, which can make school and life way more challenging. At the same time, it is important that we don’t define who we are based on our challenges. You may also be surprised that most high school students secretly feel that they are weird, regardless of having learning problems like ADHD. Even though you have ADHD, it is important that you also identify and focus on your strengths. Maybe academics are really tough, but you’re good at sports, or dancing, or art. It is important to maximize your opportunities to become involved in extracurricular activities where you can experience success and meet other teens that you can relate to better because of your shared interests.

I can understand your frustration with your mom telling other friends’ moms about your issues. Hopefully, you were able to let your mom know that you would appreciate it if she were more respectful of your privacy in the future. Keep in mind, however, that you’re making a lot of (hopefully false) assumptions about everyone knowing and the rest of your life sucking as a result. While we all worry, worrying usually just makes us anxious and is rarely helpful. So consider trying to not assume the worst and make efforts to seek out friends who like you for who you really are. Ultimately, they’re the only real friends worth having anyway.

If you focus on your strengths, accept the fact that you (like everyone else) have challenges, and seek out friends with common interests, it will be much easier for you to make friends and stand up for yourself.