Dear Jessie,

Bullying is an extremely difficult challenge. And even with the best of intentions, it seems tough for school officials to control. In addition, society puts great pressure on all of us to conform to various standards like what it means to be a ”girl“ versus a ”boy“ in terms of how we look, behave, etc. When we do not conform to society’s standards, others often treat us negatively; especially those who are rigid in their beliefs and often have their own insecurities. Many famous celebrities report similar experience as children due to their unique attributes, which later made them a fortune.

While it is difficult to change society, there are some things that you can do to deal with this challenge. Most bullies take great pleasure in upsetting the people they victimize. They usually have poor self-esteem and try to feel superior to others by putting them down. Thus, the less they think they’re upsetting you, the less motivated they will be to bother you and will likely move on to another more reactive victim. Therefore, whatever you can do to act like it doesn’t bother you (e.g., smiling and agreeing with them!), the more likely that they will be less mean. While it is a good idea to be assertive, talking to them about it may just lead to more harassment due to the previous point. A better plan may be to seek out, perhaps inside or outside of school, new friends that can appreciate you for who you are. After all, one good friend is better than one hundred acquaintances.