Dear Sherman,

Unfortunately, alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs on the planet. If your dad is an alcoholic, he may need to get help in order to address his drinking. As with many addictions, it can be very difficult at first to get the substance user to acknowledge he has a problem and then participate in treatment. You should also know that the chances that a child will become an alcoholic increase if a parent suffers from alcoholism. So, if you are correct about your dad, you and your siblings would be wise to avoid drinking alcohol altogether.

In response to your question, unfortunately you cannot get your dad to stop drinking unless he is willing to try to change his behavior. What you can do is let him know that you love him and are concerned for his safety and the safety of your family members when he drives under the influence of alcohol.

If that would be too difficult, it might be best to first have the conversation with your mom about the best way to approach your dad about his drinking. If that is not possible, it may be helpful to speak to a trusted adult (e.g., school staff, a relative, or family friend). Sometimes families will organize an "intervention": They plan a meeting with a group of family members and friends to confront the substance abuser with their concerns, if they have already tried in vain to talk to him or her individually. It is often useful to have a mental health professional, with expertise in addiction issues, present to help lead the intervention.

If all of this fails, families then have to take the difficult step of getting the police involved. Once a driver gets arrested for driving while intoxicated, the courts often mandate substance abuse treatment. While these steps are very difficult, it would be far worse for your dad, a family member, and/or an innocent bystander to get hurt or killed before something is done about it. I would also encourage you (and your family) to refuse to get in the car if your dad has been drinking.