Dear Terra,

It’s difficult to know exactly why your friend is avoiding you. She may be jealous or worrying that you’ll lose touch. She may even be dealing with an issue that has nothing to do with your college acceptance.

The most important thing to do is create opportunities for both of you to talk and share your feelings together. While this may be challenging because your friend is avoiding you, it’s not impossible.

Try to talk to her alone when you have plenty of time to chat. A quick minute between classes in front of other students probably isn’t the right time. Instead, ask her if she’ll meet you for coffee after school. Or, if you can’t find a good time to talk in person, call her on the phone instead.

If you feel like talking to her is too difficult or uncomfortable, consider the power of the written word. Sending an email or even writing a letter allows you to be very thoughtful about exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it. The other benefit is, unlike a face-to-face conversation, your friend won’t walk away in the middle if your words are difficult to hear. She’ll most likely read your note--all of it--before responding.

Whether you decide to meet in person, talk on the phone, or communicate in writing, take the opportunity to let your friend know how much you care about her, how sorry you are that she was not accepted to the school, and how important her friendship is to you.

If, after all of this, your friend is still upset, give her some time to think about what you’ve said and to respond. You’ve done your part and now the ball is in her court. Rest assured that you did everything that you could, as a best friend should.