Dear Tyree,

When someone wants to fight with you, there are basically two choices: to fight or not to fight. If you choose to fight, you risk getting hurt, hurting someone else, and possibly getting into trouble as a result. The more difficult but usually wiser choice is not to fight. That may be easier said than done.

If it’s a situation of being bullied, it is important to speak to someone at your school about it. Most schools have bully-prevention programs and staff that are there to help you. Consider speaking to an adult that you trust at school about it.

If it’s not happening at school, you may want to consider brainstorming other options to fighting and choosing the strategy that will have the best chance of working. For example, you can try talking to the other person to understand why that person is looking to fight with you. Maybe by talking about it together, you can come up with other options. Another approach might be to avoid contact or interaction with that person. When approached, you can state simply that you don’t want to fight and walk away. The truth is that any solution is probably better than fighting. Instead of resolving problems, fighting usually makes things worse.