Dear Halie,

Most parents feel it is their job to keep their children on track and to help them to do well. Some parents, however, may take this too far and put excessive pressure on their children to achieve. This usually creates more problems than it solves. The best way to deal with this is to communicate with your parents in an assertive fashion.

Communicating assertively means expressing your feelings but doing so in a diplomatic way. A great strategy is to try and first state what you believe your parent's position is (in as nice a way as possible) and then express your feelings on the subject in as calm a fashion as possible. For example: "I know that you just want what's best for me by telling me that I can do better, but it makes me feel pressured and like I am not good enough as I am."

The best time to have this conversation may not be immediately after your parents say stressful things to you, but later, at a calmer moment, when you can more effectively express your feelings. Your opinions are important and your parents need to hear them.