Dear Yuridiahi,

It can be very difficult for children when their parents date. It sounds like your mother had not been dating before and was able to give you a lot more attention.

I’m glad that you’re reconsidering running away, because that would probably make matters worse. Your desire to run away is really an effort on your part to let your mother know how you feel. This IS important for you to do.

The best way to communicate with your mom is by being assertive, which means letting her know how you feel but doing it in a respectful way. For example, instead of saying, “You suck for spending all your time with him and ignoring me,” consider: “I know that you care about him and being close to another adult is important for you, I just want you to know that I’m feeling like you don’t care about me anymore because you have stopped spending as much time with me.” By communicating assertively, you will increase the odds that you will really be heard.

If this is too difficult to say to your mom, consider writing her a letter. The benefit of writing is that you can really think about what you want to say and pick just the right words to express your feelings, while letting her know that you understand her situation as well. This will give your mom the opportunity to understand where you’re at and hopefully make more time for you.