Dear Matt,

There are several issues here that need to be addressed. The first is to make sure that you are taking good care of yourself. Whatever your girlfriend’s issues are, you owe it to yourself not to allow the abuse to continue. If nothing changes, there is a good chance that her abusive behavior will continue and quite possibly get worse.

There could be many reasons for her abusive behavior. Some possible reasons include: She herself was abused; she has an anger control problem; or she is depressed (since teens often express depression by being angry or irritable). The cause may also be a combination of these issues and others.

Regardless, the important question is: Does your girlfriend realize that her behavior is a problem and that she needs to learn how to change it? If she is motivated to get help, then there is a chance that your relationship can improve. If she does not see her behavior as a problem, then unfortunately the chances of developing a healthy relationship with her are poor.

The best thing that you can do for her is to let her know that her behavior is a problem. You should also make it clear that you are not willing to continue being the victim of her abuse and that she need to get help to deal with her abusive behavior.

If she refuses to change or to get help, then you should end the relationship. Don’t allow yourself to be a victim. You deserve better.