Dear Aiden,

There are many healthy ways to express our feelings. The important thing to remember is that not expressing our feelings and keeping them bottled up inside causes significant emotional and physical harm.

Unfortunately most men are taught that it is a sign of weakness to express our emotions. Crying is often something that our culture dissuades boys from doing. But expressing our feelings is a sign of emotional strength and maturity. Whether you are male or female, crying is a normal and healthy way to express your feelings. That’s why we often feel better after a good cry.

As I said, there are lots of different healthy ways to express feelings. The traumatic event of your friend dying in a car accident must be very difficult and it is important to allow yourself to grieve. In addition to crying, which is completely appropriate, here are some other ways that you can deal with your feelings of loss:

Journaling: A great way to get your feelings out is by putting them down on paper. This could be something that you share with others you trust or, if you prefer, just keep to yourself. By putting your feelings down on paper, it will help release them.

Talking with a trusted friend and/or family member is a way to verbalize your feelings. This is a major reason that counseling is effective for so many people. It allows them to express their feelings and, by doing so, better understand them.

Join a support group: There are support groups specifically for teens dealing with grief and loss. Many of these services are free or low cost. A good place to start would be to contact your school counselor, clergy, or local Hospice office. Hospice is a national nonprofit that specializes in helping teens, children, adults, and families better cope with the death and dying of loved ones.

Whichever way you choose to express your feelings, it will lessen your pain and help you feel better emotionally and physically.