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Ask Dr. Jan

Dear Dr. Jan,

I'm 16 and my mom just kicked me out. What should I do now?

— Jasmine

Dear Jasmine,


Without knowing more about your situation, here are some suggestions:

  • Consider talking with your mom and trying to create some kind of negotiated agreement that would enable you to move back home. If your situation is too complicated to allow you to do this yourself, consider getting a third person involved, like a school counselor, relative, or mental health professional, to help the two of you begin to work things out.
  • If my first suggestion is not possible right now, it is important for you to have a safe play to stay. Typically, crashing at friends’ houses, sometimes called “couch surfing,” is only a temporary solution at best. There are resources in your community that can help in situations like this. A good place to start would be to contact your local Department of Social Services. Let them know your situation and see if they can assign a social worker to your case and help you to find a place to stay. Staff at your local school (principal, school nurse, guidance counselor, etc.) can also help you get this process started.
Hopefully in time you and your mom can work through the struggles that you are experiencing right now. Even if you never move back home, she’ll always be your mom and it will be good for you to have as healthy a relationship with her as possible.