Dear Laura,

The best way to manage feelings is to make sure that you are able to express them appropriately. Holding in emotions usually backfires, and being depressed can be one of the consequences of not expressing your feelings. The best way to be in control of your feelings is to understand why you feel the way that you do--and to try to deal with the underlying reasons for those feelings.

Sometimes, however, it may be difficult for you to understand the feelings you have—or why you have them. In addition, many people have difficulty expressing their feelings. They try to avoid or forget about their negative emotions. Unfortunately, unexpressed negative feelings tend to build up, often resulting in episodes of anger, depression, or anxiety.

It’s normal to feel “down” or sad from time to time; everyone has these periods. But when depression occurs frequently and interferes with your day-to-day activities, it’s a sign of something more serious. Counseling is often helpful in reducing the symptoms of depression. And if the depression is severe or not improved with counseling, anti-depressant medication may be helpful.

If you frequently feel depressed, you should look into getting counseling. Assuming you feel comfortable talking to your parents, you can ask them for help in finding a therapist. If you’re not ready to talk to your parents yet, your school guidance counselor, school nurse, or a favorite teacher or coach can guide you to get help. Many therapists specialize in working with teens, and they’ll be able to understand what you’re going through. Last, if you ever feel like hurting yourself, or feel suicidal, call 911 immediately.

Don’t worry if you think you can’t afford counseling. Many organizations provide counseling for free, or for reduced rates, to people who can’t afford the cost of therapy.

Therapy can teach you lifelong skills to better manage your emotions. And learning to manage your feelings by expressing them and dealing with the source of your negative feelings can help you more effectively cope with the challenges of life.